And so, I have pondered over the question again and again, if i have a choice, where do i want to return to?
“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”
- Rakifi, Lion King
I have many regrets in my life - I made many mistakes, i have also got hurt by others and have had hurt my loved ones too. Yet, I believed that everything that I had been through had made me who I am and gave me what I have today. So I do not want to revisit or change anything in my past. Everything that had happened made me learnt not to have further regrets (hopefully).
But I realised, there are truly some moments in time that I would love to time travel to! And if I can choose, I would like to be invisible so that I can indulge in those moments, and also I believe I will be tearing non stop watching the moments unfold....
I wanna time travel to these moments because though I am a part of them, but yet I have totally zero memory of them!
The times I will set on the Time Machine:
Year: 1982 Month: April Date: 20
Venue: Kandang Kerbau Hospital
On that day, my mother was giving birth to me, without epidural!
I want be in the room accompanying her silently, for she told me before she was alone in the delivery room most of the time..
I want to see how much my mother suffered to bring me into this world..
I want to see how my mother look at me while carrying me in her arms the very first time..
I want to see my father face when he met me for the first time..
I will see how young and strong they used to be.. And know how much they have aged as I grew up..
I guessed I will be repeating "Thank you papa and mummy" so many times and be tearing non stop.
|These are moments in my life that I have have no recollection of in my own memory|
Year: 1982 Month: Aug Date: 20
Venue: The old home
I was four months old on that day...
I want to see, how my parents coped with having me and my elder sister who was 4+ years old..
I want to watch my mother bathe and changed us..
I want to watch how my parents accompanied and played with us..
I want to watch my mother prepared dinner and feed my elder sister..
I want to watch my mother preparing the formula milk and feeding me..
I want to see how my parents prepared us for bedtime..
Once again, I will be saying "Thank you" so many time, I think it will sound like a chant..
|I can't remember that the phone was ever my toy..|
This is the irony, isn't it? We were part of the same moments, but none of us will remember about our arrival into this world, our own first tooth, first step, first food etc. But our parents will know. That's how when I held my firstborn in my arms, I knew immediately that the first few years of my children's life belongs only to me. They will not remember everything, but i will try so hard to remember everything about this precious period.
We will never realised the greatness of our parents love, until we become a parent ourselves, carrying our newborn in our arms. Then we can "see" how much our parents really love us before...
While it's impossible to time travel now, but i am thankful and grateful that I have become a parent myself, so i know how much my parents loved me. I understand how they felt when they bring me for vaccinations, how they took care of me when I was sick, how they felt when I met my milestones, how they are proud of me, why they will always forgive me for any wrongs I did and more.. My children are my everything, and I was once everything to my parents too!
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This post is part of the “If I were a Time Traveller” blog train hosted by MadPsychMum click on the button to time travel with 20 other mummies and find out where are our time travel hot spots!
Coming up next on the blog train is Ing, a former teacher and mother of 3. She shares her thoughts on parenting, fun stuff for kids and the more serious stuff such as education on her blog, Ingspirations.
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