Friday, August 01, 2014

A Broken Television is a Reflection of my Soul

The television in our living room just broke today. Not broke down but the screen cracked. I actually called the service centre to enquire and the TV screen is not covered under warranty even though the television is still very new. So, that's it. It's still working but part of screen is blocked out. I am very sad. That means either repair which is like so expensive or throw it away yet I will feel it's still working! Kinda like myself now, I looked fine but I am exhausted, worn out. Battery flat.


I feel ultra stressed this week. It's uneventful but Kyle started having troubles entering his classroom again this week.

Kyle is very rigid and has a set of routine for going to school that I can't change. Breakfast can't be a single bread folded into rectangular or triangular or other shapes. It must be double bread, square with cheese and nutella. The problem comes with he needs to finish the whole bread but the square is too heavy for him and he insists that he can only start eating upon arrival at the carpark near his school. Plus this week, for some reason, every time the admin officer helped us to open the door to his classroom, the moment he saw his classmates, he took a few steps back and started running away if anyone of us try to stop him. I am tired. This first battle of the day is too difficult to fight.

So what happened to the television? Kyle wanted to watch Ninja Turtles so i turned on for him any Ninja Turtles video on youtube. He kept screaming that it's not the correct video. 

"Which one?"

"That one! THAT ONEEEEE!"

But i dunno which one. He couldn't give me more details and after a while, i am fed up. Somewhere during this time, Baby Kyne got hold of the tv remote and started pressing. Volume went notches up. Kyle screamed. I wanna take the remote back from Baby Kyne and he resisted. So in the midst of snatching, he knocked the tv once with the remote. Seriously its not really hard but hit the television with the corner of the remote. At that, the tv screen just cracked. So dramatic.


I smsed the hubby immediately. I called the manufacturer to check. Screen is not covered under warranty. Service charge alone is SGD139+. They will call me back again to let me know the spare part price again. 


I felt like crying, but there were no tears. My screaming meter broke many times this week too. For too many times this week, Kyle had been fussing and i dunno what he wants. Baby Kyne kept crying and crying and crying. I had been under weather with an irritated throat and block nose. Patience is seriously tested. I found the most effective way to stop them is to scream. 

For the first time, i actually told Kyle that i am giving up! I am such a lousy Mommy that i really can't help him. I can't look after him anymore. Let's find a childcare for him. And of cos he screamed and cried. And i screamed and cried too. I seriously need a break. Very badly. My battery is flat. I need to rejuvenate and recharge. I don't want to be a screaming monster but i can't control myself. I try my best but two boys seems to be challenging. Even feeding kyne is very difficult this week! Plus a milk blister on my nipple since last week is still here to stay. 

To counter having too much screaming at home, i brought them out but I am drained physically too. ; ( 

Well, not all battles are lost though. At least i won one very significant battle for myself and Kyle! He finally poo in the toilet! (Ok, if u gonna say things like huh i thought he don't have problem with toilet training, or I thought he is toilet trained, or why like that or how come like this, or similar, please keep ur comment to yourself or go to the toilet now and say it to your toilet bowl instead. I had enough and so, i only want to be surrounded by positive enerygy). I am so happy for this! Persistence paid off! There is no such thing as cannot be done, time is just what everyone needs. 
Maybe I should look into a staycation and... TGIF!

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2 comments:

  1. Hugs, Ting! Sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. I guess there are really times when all we want to do is hide in a corner and cry, because things feel beyond our control. I always tell myself that this too, shall pass, and pray that the bad phase will pass really quickly. Hope things will get better really soon for you.

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  2. You must have felt really bad that day.

    Is there anybody else in your family who could just step in for a short while when you really need a short break?

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